I forgot how hot balto sounded
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
