dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to align my fucking chakras
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
