He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
