So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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