check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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