With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
