The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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