I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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