I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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