I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
