There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
