I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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