Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
