You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
