btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
