Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
