Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
