I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
