What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
