he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pooping to opera.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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