sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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