Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i came on her dog
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize