She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
