i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
