Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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