It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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