do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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