We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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