All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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