i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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