I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Boobs are out for the taking
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
