i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
