And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
