I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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