Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
