Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
