i think my tv is drunk
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
