You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
