every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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