actually, I'm a sock model
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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