As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
