So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
