im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
