Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
