i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
