Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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