I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
