i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
