whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it glows. i had to have it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
