she smelled like a LAN party
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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