This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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