Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize