its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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