He uses pillows to masturbate.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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