I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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