the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize