awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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