Having a random hookup so left but love u
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
