There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
