road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
