you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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