Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
