I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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