i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
