he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
