if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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